Anon and Steve are in my office, rather distracted by the Men’s Team Finals for the Olympics. It’s rather precious, they’re huddled over Anon’s iPad, absolutely fixated.
I wish I could have sent Anon to watch the Olympics himself. There wasn’t a feasible way, of course, after his reaction last time he was in London. Perhaps I’ll send him that way for the winter Olympics in two years. Or Rio in four. He’d like that quite a lot, I’m sure.
Nah, I think that threat is within good reason.
Beaten up by a beautiful woman isn’t a horrible way to go.
Oh, I promised far more than that.
In fact, I think the poor boy soiled himself, in all honesty. A pity, really. I’m used to archers with much more in the way of constitution. At that rate, not sure he’d survive past having his teeth yanked out, once the nails were gone. And that’s just no fun at all.
I take it back, you’re terrible.
That, too.
I told Arsenal I would hang him up by his toenails just for starters if he hurt Jason again. Too harsh?
i guess i’m not surprised you got jason under your wing either with a philosophy like that. i’d be caught off guard if a—augh, nevermind. not going that direction. nope. bad brain!
you are terrifying.
i swear i won’t hurt him. or.
uh
i’ll try not to? i don’t want to hurt him! hell, i don’t even think he wants to get back with me that badly! we’re horrible for each other!
hell no. i know you’d be on me like a honey badger on a bee hive. i haven’t been heroing very seriously the past few months and i was never that good to begin with! you’d tear out my gizzard before i even said “hi, i fucked it up with jason” or something.
Oh no, I was rather gunning to have him at the top of my roster. And if you think he’s terrifying, you should see my Personal Assistant. Anon’s a real spitfire.
No, I’d tear it out while you were screaming it, to be quite honest.
Listen, as long as you keep a little warning in mind and not dig too deep to fast, I think you’ll be fine. Even if you don’t get back together. Even if you’re just friends. I’d rather Jason to remain intact with minimal damage. That’s all.
Shouldn’t I be the one charming you?
Better not keep a girl waiting, loverboy.
Can’t you love me instead?
You know I do, sugar.
oh. okay. i guess. you, uh, know a lot about him then. yeah. -awkwardawkward- i feel like you’re going to rip me in half with just your eyes. how can you do that?
… that’s probably how. damn it, why do all of you terrifying guys lurk under the guise of beautiful people? it’s not fair! i want to be terrifying and awesome and badass! teach me your ways, lovely mistress of the spider!
…
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pleasedon’tchewmyballsoffandleavethemforyourlittlespiderbabiespleaseilikemyballs
There’s a reason our organizations go for the pretty faces. We like you off your guard.
Oh no, I wouldn’t go that route. Nails first, dear. You work up from there.
But if you’re careful, then I won’t have to ruin you, now will I? And believe me, if you hurt him, I would not be the only one on your ass. I would just be the fastest.
Oh, and don’t try to pull the “you’d have to get close to me first” route, dear. I’ve had an archer under my heel for years, you’re child’s play compared to him. Just remember that.
[He genuinely appreciates the little gesture— it never hurt to feel like somebody cared about you.] I… yeah. That’s a way to put it. When I think about him, that feeling comes back.
Like this is a dream. Like it’s the afterlife, and I’m still dead.
-Just briefly, she sighs, giving the barest of nods.-
Lingers on the edge of your horizon, still visible, but just out of touch.
yeah, that stuff is probably better left under lock and key. they’re kind of personal. … not that you would care, but. the idea still stands. it’d be awkward for him.
yeah. uh. i suppose we’ll get to know each other a lot better now, huh? that you’re jason’s commanding… officer. agent. assassin. badass. and i’m.
his friend. i guess.
yeah.
Cute - that you think there’s any personal awkwardness between us. There’s little about him that I do not know, Roy. And any embarrassment has long passed.
Indeed. I lead all of SHIELD, dear. From Captain America himself and down to the last little custodian that sweeps our halls. Jason reports directly to me, no one else, so I can say that I’d get to know his - associates quite well.
One more thing to note. You break his heart, and I will break you beyond recognition. Plain and simple.
[He gratefully takes the bottle back, but settles it on his lap with his hand gripped around it.] Roy. That’s about it.
Seems that the poor boy lingers more like a ghost for you than you do for him. -Gently she nudges against the top of his head with her cheek, making sure he’s settled on her shoulder.-